You meet someone for the first time and it feels like you have known them forever. I think this gives a glimpse of what Heaven will be like for us. A closeness which is immediate, intimate and without reservation.  In this retreat setting, with a handful of ladies, heavenly sisterhood has happened. Hugs, excitement to connect and a sameness of spirit. This is just the first few hours. I am waiting expectantly for the miracles of tomorrow. It says where 2 or more are gathered. Well, the power of the Spirit that indwells in this group is so present, so real. What power will be released tomorrow!

This time is filled with urgency. You can feel it in the Spirit, in the air, in the world. The connections made here are needed for us to go forth in His name and wage war for the lost. To declare "Not today satan, not here and not them"

If we live like we truly believe that billion of souls are at stake then we should have our battle gear on, sword drawn and figth.

Storms are big news. We are told of their track and intensity days before we will be impacted. People rush to the grocery store to get last minute supplies. We fill up our spare gas cans. We even, at times, evacuate our home. Right now, we are being pounded by a winter storm. The past few hours the snow has fallen at the rate of 2 inches per hour. The radar shows how the lower half of the state is covered. We had notice of this. At first it was a forecast of 2 to 4 inches, which increased as it came closer. Today the forecast is 7 to 9 inches of snow.  Here in Michigan, we are accustomed to this.

Wouldn't it be nice is we had advance warnings of storms in our lives? We could prepare for the onslaught coming at us. Our storms are not minimized by stocking up on supplies from the grocery store. They are not solved by evacuating. One of my favorite movie quotes is from The Count of Monte Cristo. Dantes is speaking to a young man and says "Albert, in life you will face many storms. You must stand up and look right at the storm and say "Do your worst for I will do my best." For I will do my best. Yet it seems too much for us. Storms knock us off balance and destroy what we hold so dear. 

In the midst of the storm, when it feels like all hope is lost and is seems like Jesus is not paying attention, discouragement covers us klike a blanket. Yet we know that the disciples went through the same thing. Jesus, asleep in the boat in the midst of what seemed like a life ending storm. He calms the wind and the waves. At times, I have thought, "That's great but I am not in a boat." I need the storm in my heart to dissapate. 

The peace that floods my heart because I know that He hears me. Ps 18 :6 "In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God. He heard my voice from His temple and my cry came before Him, even to His ears." Knowing that He hears me makes the storm different because I know He is in the storm with me. Jesus, the Savior of my soul, the one who calms the storms on the seas and in my soul.

I have written 3 blogs today, well 4 if you count this one. Each time I try to post, they vanish. POOF! Gone  to the great internet beyond. What is happening?! The first one was amazing. I thought I sounded so smooth. It flowed, the pictures were great, it was perfect except that it left. Frustrated, I tried again. Can you recreate something you thought was good? I couldn't even remember exactly what I wrote. The next attempt was okay, not like the first one but okay. The 3rd one didn't even make it into a few sentences. Then, it too left me.

What am I doing wrong? Why is the computer doing this? I was rather upset with this black machine. Reality check, it only does what I tell it to do. Somehow I was sending these "priceless" works to the abyss. As I writing this, I am thinking "why should I bother, it will disappear also" but it's not, so what is the lesson here for me. 

It actually was very simple, the computer did nothing wrong, it wasn't trying to sabotage me or make me upset. I have been doing this for a few weeks and I am getting comfortable with the program. Comfortable isn't  a great thing. I stopped paying close attention to each step. I missed a button I need to click on. 

Yep, I am responsible for having to write this again, just like I had to yesterday because of the same mistake. 

What button you push matters. Every choice you make is important. Don't get so comfortable that you get sloppy and lose your focus.

Sleep is eluding me tonight. Between the snoring and the coughing in my house, it is nowhere to be found. So instead of sleeping, I am laying in bed having conversations with God. Then I realized, I was doing all the talking and non of the listening. God tells us to "Be still and know that He is God." Be still, I am trying to sleep, of course I am being still! The more I think "I have to go to sleep", the farther it seems to be. So I will just lie here and wait. Wait. That is not one of my  top 10 skills. We live in a microwave society. Everything has to be "now". "Now I lay me down to sleep", only I am not sleeping.  Do I really know how to wait like God wants me to?

I keep looking the the time and doing the math of how long I have before the alarm goes off. Then the whole "take every thoght captive" goes right out the window because my mind is playing all the possible paths tomorrow could take because of my lack of sleep. That's not helping!

So I will turn off my computer and go back to bed. I will be still and quiet my mind with His truths and listen and wait. I will entrust tomorrow into His hands, regardless of how much sleep I got. Peace I leave you, My peace I give you. Thank you  Jesus.

I did something today that I normally don't do. I went to a holiday craft show. I am not a knick-knacky kind of person nor am I a big holiday decorator. I wondered the aisles and saw incredible transformations. Barn wood that became signs and serving trays. Beautiful tea cup bird feeders. Antique serving utensils. Mason jars, oh what you can do with a simple mason jar.

In Genisis, God said "Let us make man in Our image." God is THE creator so since we are made in His image, we should be creative also. I look at a mason jar and see, well a mason jar. Not this adorable, rustic kleenex holder.  Barn wood is just wood but now it is a beautiful board to hang my pictures on. Booth after booth, the artists displayed their creativity.  Booth after booth, I thought, "I never would have seen that in that."

I am so thankful that God sees the finished "product" in me before He starts. God saw each of us before He said "Let there be light."  Jesus said in 2 Cor 5:17 " Therfore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away: behold all things have become new." 

I think that makes me like a piece of barn wood in the hands of my Creator. I am excited to see the finished work.

Craft on God! Craft on!

In this crazy holiday season, we are often rubbing elbows with people that do not top our 'favorites" list. Many we only interact with at funerals and holidays. I watch my mother in law try to please everyone and runherself ragged in the process. Family, we don't ge to choose ours, God does.

It is the same in the family of Christ. As "brothers and sisters" in Christ we are a family. Too often we get caught up in minor differences that leads to strained relationships, unforgiveness and hurt feelings. People leave because of the hurt.

We cannot please everyone and we are all going to hurt someone's feelings. Let's take the upper hand and talk to the one who we are at odds with, apologize when necessary and above do not talk to others about them. Jesus is our example. Judas approached Him in the garden to betray Him and Jesus let him. On the cross, Jesus said "Father forgive them" We cannot let hurt feelings create barriers between us and Jesus.

Tis the season for celebration, turning the other cheek and loving them in spite of them.

The world around me looked like I had just stepped into a snowglobe. Breathtakingly beautiful! I paused for a moment to take it in. Then reality hit, snow was stinging my face and I still have to drive home through this. The first snow of the season and most seem to have forgotten how to drive in it. There is always the one who drives as if they are in perfect road conditions, sliding all over the road, putting us all in jeopardy.

Halfway home it was as if I crossed a barrier, no more snow. Road was clear and dry. Just the view in my mirror to remind me of where I had been.

Life is like that. We get caught up in what looks good and step into it. We are then scrambling for secure footing while we manuver our way through. We watch other people go through it faster( it seems).  We grip so tightly trying to be in control when we really cannot see where we are going.  When we make it through, we exclaim "I am never going to do that again." Time passes and if we are not careful, the same choice presents itself. Decision time. Do we step into it or do we just shake the snowglobe, remember what happened before and choose not to participate.

I was Christmas shopping with my daughter today with the goal of getting it finished. I am normally one of those people that cut it close. This year I am trying to finish "early" because of my schedule this month. The one I am having the hardest time with is my husband. Our anniversary is 5 days before Christmas. Who had that idea was a bit nuts (me!) but the church looked fabulous! So I am really looking for something special for our anniversary, it's the big 30 this year. After all my husband took us to Scotland, what can I find that even comes close. Then my daughter, who is also shopping for him, said "You both deserve a private island but all I can afford is a candle". Stop. Right. There. I tell her the gift doesn't matter, it's the giver but my actions are saying something different.

One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Little Drummer Boy". I am a poor boy too. I have no gift to bring that is fit for a king.  Shall I play for you on my drum.  I needed the reminder today that my focus was out of focus. We are celebrating a gift beyond price. The gift of our Savior coming to earth to give us a gift. We are all "a poor boy too" that has no gift to bring that can compare His. What a blessing that Jesus isn't looking for any comparisons. He is asking us to give back to Him what he gave us, our life. 

I discovered the perfect anniversary gift. It wasn't in any store. It was hidden in my heart. What I give to my husband everyday in our marriage is a wife who lives by Prov 31:11-12 "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." A wife that is committed to this lifelong journey and loves being his wife. 

I can hear the wind howling outside. Leaves are swirling like small tornados. Chairs are moved and the garbage can is tipped over. It is definately a day where you feel like you need lead boots to keep you on the ground. Making a quick run to the mailbox, trying to keep my hair out of my face, complaining about the wind, this crossed my mind. You cannot see the wind but you can see the effect of it. The effect of it is rearranging everything on my patio and my hair I had done so nicely for the party tonight.

What if I could feel the Holy Spirit move in my life like the wind? The rearranging of priorites, useless things blown away or "wind chill" to clear my heart. The landscape of my life would look different. The old gone. A clean, fresh canvas to paint my life on. 

Create in me a clean heart O Lord. Holy Spirit move in me.

In my book "Stepping into Courage" I talk a bit about my food addiction journey. The title of Chocoholic, well recovering, fits me perfectly. Peeling back the layers to get to the root of my food addictions is an interesting process. I go through long stretches of time thinking I have it beat. Then the enemy deploys a sneak attack. Am I armored up to withstand the assault or am I caught off gaurd? 

This past weekend as I was preparing for a Christmas party I was hosting, I bought a 4 pack of gluten free cupcakes. I was in a hurry, trying to rush through Whole Foods to get an easy dish to bring. I walked by the case with the cupcakes and I hesitated. Wrong!!! Never give the enemy an in! I reached for the cupcakes, rationalizing that there are guests who are gluten free and they will enjoy them. I ignored the voice in my head telling me to NOT get them and put them in my cart.  Only two cupcakes were brought home. Yeah, I brought 2 cupcakes home. Cupcakes on my counter talking to me, getting me to think of reasons I could eat them.  I know the bible says to "resist the devil and he will flee from you" I was not in the resisting kind of mind.

This morning during my 6am "Fight Club" call, we read through Ps 18. God is my Rock, my Strength, my Shield, Fortress, the list keeps going. He is my defender from the cupcake. Why do I need to be defended from the cupcake? Because I am not only a chocoholic but I am addicted to sugar. I know the cupcake is gluten free but it is loaded with sugar. I cannot let it in. I am like the childrens story "If you give a mouse a cookie" If you give me a cookie today, I will eat a pack of them tomorrow. I don't have a "sweet tooth" I have a whole mouth full!

Ps 18:37-38 I have pursued my enemies and overtaken them. Neither did I turn back until they were destroyed. I have wounded them so they cannot rise, they have fallen under my feet. Vs 42 Then I beat them as fine as dust and cast them out like dirt in the streets.

The cupcake is no longer in my house. As I was "snitching" some frosting, I had an epiphany. I am relinquishing my freedom over this for a moment of guilty pleasure. I smashed it like dust, tossed it in the trash and took the trash outside.I allowed myself to be distracted. In the distraction, I brought into my house a weapon from the enemy to take me down. I won this battle but it was unnecessary, if I had listened to that still, small voice inside my head, I would have not been in the battle.

I didn't use the stones God has given us to slay the giant I was facing. I was fighting in my own strength. I need to remember God is more than competent to fight the giant and claim victory through Him!