Thursday, March 22 2018
During some of the most difficult times of my life, someone showed up once a week. I knew the knock on the door would come. They would walk into the classroom and ask for me. I didn't want them to come, to be singled out, to be made fun off or to be different from the other kids. But I was.
All those years of help from the speech therapists set me free from the outward expression of my different way of speaking. The inward feeling of ridicule and rejection was left untouched for years.
A few weeks ago, I was serving teachers of our local school. All of the teachers had been through a difficult training that morning and you could see the weight and depth of emotion they have for their students. As I mingled, expressing my gratitude for what they do for our children, I met a young woman who is a speech therapist. We talked about what she does and how it impacts the lives of the children. I realized that in my 7 plus years of therapy, I never, not once, thought of them in a positive light. I waited for the knock with dread. Thinking that they were the cause of the laughter and rejection. I cannot tell you if it was a woman or a man who came to get me. I don't even know their name. I never saw them. I only saw me.
That afternoon, I looked this woman in the eyes and shared my story. Where I started and where I am today because of many someones who did what she does. I thanked her for the work she does. For the lifelong impact she is making in a child's life. I told her not to get discouraged because the children do not understand the difference she is making. We both had tears rolling down our faces. Hers, the encouragement to keep helping. Mine, cleansing from deep in my soul.
I went to bless those who take care of our children every day. I came away with a blessing far greater than I gave.
Thank you. Two words we need to use every day.
Wednesday, March 07 2018
At this moment, my house is chaos. The dogs are in full-fledged "Heeler" mode and using the furniture like a Spartan Race. Chaos. Frustrated, I yell at them to be quiet. Yeah, that always works. Lose your patience and raise your voice so peace and quiet visits your house.
This day I had visions of a mini writing retreat at my house. Like a cottage at the beach. Just you and the sound of the waves. Hours of inspired, uninterrupted writing. Reality exploded my vision like a bomb.
We have 3 dogs and are watching one for a friend. I whined loudly to God about my situation and blamed it all on the extra dog. It is the extra, the one more dog that is causing the chaos.
Really? Like there wasn't chaos before? I was already stretched to my limit at times with our dogs. So what was it about the "one more"?
How many times have I taken on one more thing and thought I could handle it, only to feel the weight was too much. One more purchase on credit, one more activity volunteered for, one more shift at work, one more drink, one more, one more.
It seems it is the "one more" that breaks us but it is the lifestyle choices we made leading up to the "one more" that set us up to break. What areas of my life has "pressure cracks"? What choices do I need to make to relieve the pressure?
In Luke 10, Martha complains to Jesus about her sister not helping her. Jesus responds that she is burdened and distracted with many things. The many things were causing Martha to miss the one thing that was important. She needed to lay down the many things.
I need to lay down the many to embrace the One.
Looking back at my episode earlier and feeling like a crazy woman, I realized that I was so caught up in the chaos that I was missing the one thing needed......I just needed to put the dogs outside.