Wednesday, January 17 2018
Four years ago, my mom passed away. It sounds like a long time yet there are moments when it feels like yesterday. Grief is funny like that. It comes at you like a thick, dark cloud stealing your breath, your stength and your ability to think. Grief is not a "get it over and done" thing. Grief, I think, is a process much like amputation. You are looking for healing to be able to move ahead but you now have to learn how to live without what was there. Memories pop up that bring tears to our eyes and a smile on our face. We remember, we miss and we yearn for that elusive "one more moment".
My mom fought hard against Lewy Body Dementia. Towards the end, she had lost the abilty to eat or drink. As we gathered to her bedside to share are last few precious days with her, she was incoherant. As I was sitting with her, holding her hand, just sharing what was on my heart, she opened her eyes and looked right at me and as clear as a bell she said "I just want to go home." She closed her eyes and slipped back into her coma like state. I gently replied to her that she is free to go home and Jesus is waiting for her.
We hold on to so much of this world, buying, saving, planning, working, yet none of it matters in the end. My mom wasn't asking about her bank account, she was asking to go home to Jesus. The bible teaches us that where our heart is, there is our treasure. In reflecting on my mom's life today, I am pondering what is my treasure? What am I focused on more than Jesus? How am I spending the time He has given me? Life is precious. Let all I do be for the One who gave His all for me. When He does call me home, may I hear "Well done my daughter."