Friday, January 12 2018
I enjoyed a wonderful, long overdue, time with a friend yesterday. We shared what God has done, what He is doing and our hearts for what our future holds. It was so filled with Ps 34 without us ever quoting it. "I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall be continually on my lips. My soul shall make it's boast in the Lord. The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together." In the midst of our conversation, a thought slithered into my mind, "You are not enough". I didn't do anything with it. I should have immediately rebuked it, covered it with scripture and claimed truth, but I didn't. I let it sit sit there. I actually forgot about it until this morning. My alarm reminds me at 5 am that it is time to hang out with Jesus. Normally,a smile comes to my face and I begin to thank Him for many things. This morning, I lingered under the covers and thought he won't miss me. I did regain my sanity and got out of bed. I felt heavy and stiff as if this was something I never do. Seeking an answer for this mood, I was gently reminded of the thought from yesterday. I had not dealt with it and by letting it stay, I had let my old self doubt of unworth to resurface.
I was ,once again, shown that when I think I am not enough that God likes to use what looks like "not enough". Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Hagar, Ruth, The woman at the well, the little boy and his lunch of five fish and bread, Peter and so many others.
My prayer for today is "God, I ,by myself, am not enough, it is only through You and Your help that I am able to walk where you ask. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and guide me. I surrender my "not enoughness" to You, You are the Master Craftsman and I am clay, mold me into what is Your will. Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Open my hands so I am ready to serve You. Thank you for every breath, every day and may I take every thought captive and praise You all day long.
Colossians 1:9-14The Message (MSG)
9-12 Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.
13-14 God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.